Silent Mornings, Perfect Mornings

I am not a morning person. Not in the least bit. Most people like to wake up late; I’d prefer not to wake up at all until the sun is well out of sight and out of mind. But I am also aware that to function in society and hold down a job, you’ve got to ‘Rise and Shine and wake up on time‘. Ugh!

So, I’ve got my own way of dealing with this unpleasant imposition. It’s called ‘Coaxing, cajoling, wheedling, and begging my brains into cooperating with me and doing it’s bloody job!’. That’s why the first hour after I’ve woken up is precious to me …. really, really precious. And I try and make the most of it.

I don’t talk.

I don’t read the newspaper.

I don’t check social media.

I don’t even listen to music.

The only thing I do is cradle a cup of coffee in my hands, sit in my balcony, and just stare away.

To the casual observer, I probably look like one of those people you find in old age homes; the ones who sit absolutely still, their gaze directed at nothing in general, their eyes glassy, and their hands lethargically hanging by their side. Immovable and unpenetrable, my actions are strictly limited to raising my cup to the lips, taking a smooth, gentle sip, lowering the cup and letting it rest on my lap. Occasionally, a curious little bird will come and inspect the bird bowl and chide me for not filling it, but I refuse to budge immediately.

In these moments, all questions, all problems, world emergencies, disasters, and wars (and that cute little bird) can wait. This one hour is my time and I guard it jealously. Sometimes, I think; sometimes, I don’t. Sometimes, there are mysteries to ponder; sometimes, my mind is delightfully empty of any thought, opinion, prejudice, or emotion.

This one hour is like a twilight zone for me: a time suspended halfway between sleeping and waking. My brain is grudgingly coming around to the fact that it can’t get out of its responsibilities and it will eventually have to start hustling. But since it’s more of a gentle transition and not a rude awakening, it decides to meet me halfway, although it prefers to inch forward rather than move on with business briskly.

But I don’t mind. I really don’t mind at all. We live in an insane world, no doubt, but I’ve realised that it’s only as insane as we make it. Our choices are making our lives chaotic. Our desire to cram 30 hours’ worth of action into a 24-hour day leaves us feeling drained and frustrated.

I am not making any judgments here. How can I when I am guilty of the same folly? Most people have a hard life, swept as we are on a rollercoaster ride that’s twisting and turning dangerously. Everyone’s trying to survive and make the most of their time. But, unless I grab this one hour for myself in a day, I will end up losing all control of my own life. And what would be the point of that?

We all need to do this: take a small slice out of the apple pie called life and then, cherish it, savour it. Hold these moments close to your heart and just breathe in the fragrance. Don’t rush it, don’t miss it, and don’t share it with anyone … your friends, family, lover, husband, children, parents, anyone. And don’t let anyone guilt trip you into feeling bad for this tiny sliver of selfishness you’re claiming for yourself. You are entitled to that much. It’s your life, after all!