Before You Judge Me…

As a society, we love to judge people. So much so, it could be counted as our national pastime. We judge people on their clothes, food habits, what car they drive, what job they do, where they live … at this point, making a list of what we don’t judge people on might be an easier task.

How high we turn up our noses is directly related to how good we feel about ourselves. The more we trample on someone’s self-esteem, the better human beings we think we are. And the more we keep people out of our social circles, the more we congratulate ourselves on saving society from ruin and collapse!

I am not advocating a world without judgments, but I am talking about extending compassion to people around you and avoiding blanket judgments based on superficial things. If you must fire bullets of judgment, how about you turn the muzzle towards bullies, power grabbers, toxic family members, corrupt assholes, mean-spirited idiots, and those who misuse their authority? Can’t do that, can you? Because that would require true strength and conviction! Instead, you pick on the openly gay individual or people who may not be able to speak English with the perfect accent

Maybe this poem will help change your perspective a little bit; keep you from raising that accusing finger or voicing those nasty thoughts that are coursing through your (tiny) brain. Maybe it will help you empathise a bit with a fellow human being and understand them before you’re tempted to throw them into the trash bin like the piece of shit (you think) he is.

Or maybe … it will do none of that. I honestly couldn’t care two hoots what you think. I am going to skip over all the stones you throw at me, dodge your ‘kind words of concern’, and kick your half-baked theories on how the world should be lived. Live and let live.

It is so easy to taunt and condemn,

To pass judgment on my life,

So easy to look down from your high horse,

And patronize me with sage advice.

…..

It’s so simple to shake your head

And tut-tut at the choices I have made;

So easy it is to feel sorry for me

And wonder at how much I’ve changed.

…..

I see you reaching out to me,

Your eyes brimming with shallow concern,

I see you dissecting all my choices,

Pointing out each misguided turn,

That brought me to where I stand right now –

My life in shambles, a ‘pathetic ruin’;

A testament to countless foolish mistakes

And a future ‘bleak and grim’.

…..

We all seem to do a splendid job

Of living someone else’s life,

Handing out lessons on how to be

The perfect parent, husband, child, or wife.

…..

But try, for once, to walk my road

And face the storms I went through;

Let us, for once, exchange our lives

I’d like to see what you would do.

…..

When faced with the choices given to me,

Each one more terrible than the last,

When your back’s pinned against the wall,

Let’s see how long you will last.

…..

I’d like to see how well you cope

When all your friends abandon you.

When the one you love betrays your trust

And simply walks away from you.

…..

When frustration turns to despair,

And there is nothing left to grasp,

When brick by brick, your world crumbles,

Let’s see how well you react to that.

…..

You have no clue how I got here,

My life shattered into a million pieces,

So hold back your “I told you so’s”

And spare me the sanctimonious speeches.

…..

If you have no kind words for me,

And can’t lift me from the pit I’m in,

For heaven’s sake, then, hold your tongue,

And stop pushing me deeper in.

…..

You speak of lives you do not know,

And of truths you cannot see,

Go, live your life in peace and quiet,

And give me the freedom to just be me!